AlltheJokes.com
The best humor! Aviation jokes and funny stories.

Little boy to airline pilot:

"You're a pilot?!?!? That must be exciting."

Pilot:

"Not if I do it right."

"Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your wings.."
"OK TOWER, IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"

"Flight 1234, are you ready to copy holding instructions?"
"Center, make that request on the next frequency...."

On a flight with EasyJet back in 1997 the pilot made what can only be describes as an extremely heavy landing at Luton. It was very early in the morning and a number of passenger around me looked quite alarmed as, apart
from the noise, a number of overhead lockers dropped open and several items of carry-on luggage were launched down the aisle.

After slowing up, the aircraft turned off the runway and turned towards the stand and over the PA came "Good morning ladies gentlemen, this is Captain Smith, welcome to Luton...and if any of you were asleep...I bet you're not now!"

ATC: "Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions? "

Cessna: "To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating."

ATC: "I meant in the next five minutes not years."