Aviation jokes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 | Page 15 | 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Next aviation jokes »

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. "Throw out more!" shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. "More!" he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control.

He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who's crying. They ask him why he's crying and he says "A pistol hit me on the head!"

They drive more and meet another boy who's crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, "A rifle hit me on the head!"

They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who's laughing hysterically. They ask him, "Kid, what's so funny?" The boy replies, "I sneezed and a house blew up!"

Rating: 4.0 |

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

Rating: 3.0 |

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

Rating: 2.2 |

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

Rating: 3.2 |

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."

Rating: 3.0 |

Next aviation jokes »

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 | Page 15 | 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Browse all the jokes by category:

  • Aardvark jokes

  • Accountant jokes

  • Answer me this jokes

  • Ant jokes

  • Apple jokes

  • Aviation jokes

  • Baby jokes

  • Banana jokes

  • Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

  • Barbie doll jokes

  • Bath jokes

  • Beauty jokes

  • Bed jokes

  • Bicycle jokes

  • Biologist jokes

  • Bird jokes

  • Birthday jokes

  • Blind jokes

  • Blonde jokes

  • Book title jokes

  • Brother and sister jokes

  • Burger jokes

  • Bus jokes

  • Business jokes

  • Cannibal jokes

  • Car and train jokes

  • Cat jokes

  • Children jokes

  • Christmas jokes

  • Clinton jokes

  • College jokes

  • Computer jokes

  • Cow jokes

  • Cowboy jokes

  • Criminal jokes

  • Dance jokes

  • Dead and dying jokes

  • Dentist jokes

  • Dinosaur jokes

  • Divorce jokes

  • Doctor and nurse jokes

  • Dog jokes

  • E-mail jokes

  • Easter jokes

  • Elephant jokes

  • Ethnic jokes

  • Face jokes

  • Farmer jokes

  • Firefighter jokes

  • Fishing jokes

  • Food jokes

  • Frog jokes

  • Ghost jokes

  • Gorilla jokes

  • Hair and bald jokes

  • Halloween jokes

  • Heaven and hell jokes

  • History jokes

  • Horse jokes

  • Humor jokes

  • Hunting jokes

  • Idiot and fool jokes

  • Insect jokes

  • Internet jokes

  • Journalist jokes

  • Judge jokes

  • King Kong jokes

  • Knock Knock jokes

  • Lawyer jokes

  • Letter jokes

  • Lotto jokes

  • Marriage jokes

  • Men jokes

  • Mental health jokes

  • Military jokes

  • Money jokes

  • Monster jokes

  • Mouse jokes

  • Movie and TV jokes

  • Music jokes

  • Old age jokes

  • Parent jokes

  • Pig jokes

  • Police jokes

  • Political jokes

  • Rabbit jokes

  • Religious jokes

  • Restaurant jokes

  • Salesmen jokes

  • School jokes

  • Snake jokes

  • Snowman jokes

  • Space jokes

  • Spelling jokes

  • Sport jokes

  • Teeth jokes

  • Telephone jokes

  • Time jokes

  • Travel and tourist jokes

  • Vampire jokes

  • Various animal jokes

  • Waiter jokes

  • Weather jokes

  • Witch jokes

  • Women jokes

  • Yo momma jokes

  • Zodiac jokes

  • Zoo jokes
  • ...or read some samples at jokes directory.